To me, traveling with your man for his work sounds bossed up, fun, and like a exciting relationship. it gives the appearance that life is poppin, your relationship is poppin, and therefore you’re poppin. When I would hear of other women that had such lifestyles I would think that they’re lucky gals. Which I am, however, things aren’t always what they’re cracked up to be. I’ve come to realize though I enjoy my relationship, and nurturing it. Dedicating too much of myself to my relationships leaves me unfulfilled.
Speaking for myself when my priorities and goals fall to the waste side because I’m giving too much of my energy to something outside myself it has a domino effect. I become cranky, irritable, and difficult. I know I’m human, and unfortunately not perfect. But still, it’s important to me that my energy is good, so I’m able to put my best foot forward in all that I do.
Through our little trip I was able to gain a lot of clarity on my desires, and what I need to feel good. Here’s what happened..
Related: Do You Dream of Being a Housewife or Career Woman?
And so it begins
I’m excited to get out of the cold for a bit. It’s consistently been below 40 in Philly, and I’m over it. Currently we’re at the airport waiting for our plane to board. I’ll probably be writing this post over the course of our trip, so do keep that in mind.
Anyway, my boyfriend has to go to Tampa for his job, he works in finance, and asked me if I wanted to join. Of course I said yes because I’m doing nada. We’ll be there a whole week. I’ll mostly be working on the computer, and I assume hanging by the pool (s/o to COVID). So it should be a pretty chill time.
I made plans to meet up with one of you lovely ladies. I met Ayanna through my blog (via IG) which I’m looking forward to. It’s super coincidental that we happen to be going to Tampa, and I happen to have recently connected with someone there, but I’m all for it! This will be the first time I’m able to put a face to more than a number. It’s amazing that I’m able to meet like minded women in different cities/countries through my blog. It’s honestly one of the reasons I started this blog. That along with spreading my wisdom and making mula, of course.
Sunday
We arrive early Sunday, so that we could have a full day in the sunshine together. My boyfriend is usually too tired during the work week for us to do much, so this was our compromise. I can’t remember the name of the beach. I think it was called treasure island or something idk. So yeah, we spent the day frolicking in the sun while I held us down by looking like a model while during so. I’m currently doing the “protective style challenge” (I’ll write more about this later in another post), so that’s why my hair is in these rough looking braids I clearly did myself lol.
Later we had dinner on the water. Somewhere close to Tampa Downtown. At this point my boyfriend is fully ready to commit to us moving to Florida. Though I’m still not convinced I do enjoy the weather.
Tuesday
Ayanna and I met at Oxford Exchange (super cute place) for brunch. It’s really a dream come true that I’m meeting women with similar interest through my blog. Especially considering you ladies are all over allowing me to make connections around the world.
We sat down and started chatting and I was getting a vibe, so I asked ” Are you a virgo?”. She goes, “omg how did you know that”. LOL I didn’t, but she was definitely giving virgo energy. So far I’m really good at detecting virgo’s, gemini’s, and sometimes cancers. Though I’m none of those. Ayanna is really the sweetest girl. As I’m sure you ladies know, women can be catty and unpredictable, so it extremely refreshing to just meet a cool black girl doing her thing… with some sense (because again, too many of you bit*ches don’t have any sense). She’s 20, majoring in tech, and hops her pretty ass out her bmw everyday #blackgirlmagic #again.
In the event we do move south it’s comforting to know I already have a friend in place.
Related: The Mindset of a Truly Feminine Woman
Thursday
My boyfriend and I really didn’t spend a lot of time together during our trip. Mostly because of his work schedule. Thursday night he invited me out to get drink with a coworker, and his girlfriend. The couple is from Germany, and have been in Tampa a few months adjusting to american life. Him a engineer and her a student in “english school”.
That reminds me, while on your own level up journey you will meet many people from diverse backgrounds. Sometimes there will be a language or cultural barrier which may make for awkward moments. But you, as a lady of class and grace have the skills necessary to maneuver any social situation.
Charm and confidence play a huge part in building social capital. New things are always uncomfortable in the beginning, but experience is the only way to get better. Also, (and this is a lesson I continue to learn daily). Be mindful of what you say, especially around people you don’t know, as others may take what you say out of context and misinterpret your meaning.
Final thoughts💭
In conclusion, it’s boring when your life is centered around your man. There were moments where I felt like I had nothing to talk about with new people outside of my relationship. It made me wonder when did my life start to so heavily revolve around him?
As happy as I am that my sole purpose on this trip is lounging around, and keeping my bf company. I am also discontent because another part of me wants to do more than feel like his shadow.
Tampa prompt me to remember that as a high value feminine woman I am my biggest priority. I can’t be so focused on someone else that I’m not working towards my desires and dreams. Yes, I’m grateful my boyfriend takes me places with him, however, that is not all I require to live a fulfilling life. I struggled with the idea of too much ambition being masculine, and as a result stepped away from my true self more than I even realised.
Far too often I see femme guru’s discuss the importance of putting your man’s career first. Though I do believe men need (emotional) support never let that be at the expense of your life goals. No one should be such a distraction. Because at the end of the day, a man may come and he may go, but your relationship with yourself now that’s forever!
With lots of love from Florida.. or whatever Drake said
Aliyah
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