You know that feeling of being overwhelmed with life and the expectations of others on your shoulders? Lately I feel that way often. I feel constant pressure to perform and have results. I imagine many of you may also feel this way in your work or schooling. It’s a very masculine energy to be in and tbh stressful af.
As some you may know I recently relocated to Florida and have started my career in real estate. Although I’m excited, the process itself does require me to push myself constantly which can get quite exhausting. In addition to learning a new city and adjusting to my new home life.
Nonetheless, days like this, I’m reminded why prioritizing “femininity” is so important. Feminine energy is relaxed. It’s ease, serenity, and fluidity . It’s an energy of being rather than doing. The more we are in our masculine the more irritable, stressed out, and upset we become. As women, especially black women, we need to be in environments that allow our femininity to flourish. For so long we have been programmed to be masculine that it takes some unlearning to allow ourselves to rest in our femininity.
So the hard part comes in when we have to find the balance between being in our feminine and maintaining our independence and stability for ourself. Yes, we all want a man that can provide and who is dependable. However, you do not want to have to depend on a man in order to survive. Nor do you want a job where you have to slave away and hustle 24/7 in order to have success. So how do we find the happy medium?
READ: Black Femininity | Increasing Feminine energy as a Masculina
While I myself am still trying to find the answer to this question I think it starts with carving out peace for ourselves in each and every day. It’s practicing gratitude and using mindful techniques to ground ourselves in the day to day.
There is no simple answer to this because what balance looks like will be different for each and every one of us. For myself, the goal is semi-passive income through various investments and digital assests. I want to spend as much time as I can nurturing my (future) kids and family while having a 6-figure, or more, income that allows me to remain somewhat independent and live the lifestyle I desire. I want to travel often and to spend time with people that bring out the best in me.
You have to be radically honest with yourself and those around you. For some women being in their masculine is something they prefer and it’s in their feminine that they feel disempowered and frustrated. Find what works best for you and what brings you the most fulfillment.
Here are a few ways to get out of your masculine and embrace your feminine energy…
Balancing work life (masculinity) with feminine energy
- Let go of a need for control
- Don’t try to control what people say, do wear, react, or anything
- The only control we truly have is over ourselves
- Focus on bettering yourself
- Take radical accountability for your actions and reacts
- Sometimes it’s okay to be selfish and put your needs/desires before everyone else
- Develop patience
- A lot of stress comes from feeling unhappy with where we are or what we have
- God has a plan, be patient, with him and yourself. He knows your hearts desires and will give you more then you asked, but you have to follow his plan by listening to your intuition
- Understand that rest and recovery is part of the process
- Hustle culture has convinced us that we need to work 24/7 to accomplish our goals which is not true.
- Take breaks when necessary and honor your mind & body
- Create multiple sources of income
- Finding a way to make other sources of income will take a lot of pressure off of your main source
- If there’s anything the pandemic should’ve taught us it’s that you cannot rely on your job to be your saving grace. Save your money, pay down debt, and invest wisely
- Find a job that suits your desired type of lifestyle
- For example: remote job, makeup artist, freelancer, model, etc
- Find something that you enjoy doing that doesn’t require you to be under unnecessary stress
READ: Becoming THAT Girl 💕How to Level Up in 2022
I want to be clear in saying that no life is without stress or struggle. However, this should be limited to a tolerable amount, and never a constant state. I always say, “Pain you cannot avoid, but suffering is optional”. The ultimate goal is to gain inner peace, and to be share that peace with the ones you love.
So if you’re currently feeling overwhelmed with life wishing and waiting for things to change take a step back and decide exactly what is it that you want, and create an actionable plan to get there. But in the meantime find ways to have little moments of joy daily.
