A girlfriend and wife are two very different things. Far too often I see women confuse the obligations of the two. If you do not have a ring on your finger and a marriage license in your name then ladies please act accordingly. Likewise if you are still in the girlfriend phase it’s important to remember you are single until married. If no formal commitment has been made then… you know, act accordingly.
I often see women going out of their way to “win” a man over. That is his job. Never yours. It is his job to show you that he’s worthy of being your husband. He is the one that needs to win you over with his consistent actions. Now, this doesn’t mean you just give him your ass to kiss, but it does mean he’s the pursuer and you the catch.
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Girlfriend Duties
- Be a good listener/companion
- Be receptive and
- Allow him to work for you: during the courting process he should be doing everything in his power to get you on his team. You need to rest in your femininity and allow him.
- Be appreciative of all his efforts
- Challenge him to better himself: if you see there are ways he needs to improve let him know. Tell him what you require, with your actions, and let him rise to the occasion.
- Practice loving a man: men require love in a specific way. It is your job as a woman to understand your man, and how to bring out the best in him (which you will do during marriage). As a girlfriend observe and decipher if this is a quality you can accept in marriage.
Not girlfriend duties
- Regularly cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, or anything else that could be considered free labor. These are desirable traits, however, they are more admirable and respectable in marriage
- Playing house: There is no point in living with a man if you are not en route to becoming his wife (I’ve made this mistake before!)
- Going 50/50 financially
As a girlfriend you are not obligated to do anything you don’t feel like doing. As a girlfriend your main focus should be becoming the best version of yourself and developing your relationship skills.
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Wife Duties
- Support him emotionally
- Maintain the home: cleanliness, kids, etc: if you’re a homemaker. Otherwise divi up the chores as you see fit, or better yet get a housekeeper!
- Encourage and support him: as they say “behind every great man is a even greater woman”
- This is why it’s important to figure out a man’s plan (and if it’s something you’re in agreement with) during dating because you should fully be in support of his vision and how you can contribute to the success of it!
- Create a peaceful & safe environment: he goes out into the cruel world to provide, so the last thing there should be is chaos at home. Home should be a place to escape the hardship of reality. Not a continuation of it.
As a wife, supporting your husband (and family) as best you can should be your top priority. That is why in the bible wives are called helpmates. You play a supporting role.
Remember: play the role you are given. Not the one you think you’re auditioning for
